We use this format of healing all the time: talking with people we trust.
So, why not talk with your trusted friend? Why pay money to talk with a therapist or coach?
If you find the right therapist, it should feel like talking to a trusted friend.
Here are 2 reasons why therapy works and is worth the money:
One: Therapy is a space that removes the distractions to working through your stuff.
First of all, nothing is going to interrupt your time in therapy. There are no phone calls or televisions going in the background or kids or siblings or a partner needing your attention. Therapy is a dedicated, distraction free zone for 50 minutes.
Second, your therapist is there for you: to listen, support, and focus on you. You don’t have to worry about trying to have a reciprocal conversation and make sure you give your therapist enough time to talk about what is going on in her life. It’s all about you. Ahhh. Isn’t that nice?
Third, your therapist (if she is a good one) is not going to put her stuff on you. If she is good, she has done or continues to do her own work on herself. That way she is not putting her personal issues onto your stuff. Her feedback is related to her knowledge of human beings backed by her studies in psychology and experience as a therapist.
When you talk with friends, even the ones you love most, they might have a harder time being objective. It’s hard for people you love not to react to what you share by trying to fix things. They love you and don’t want to see you in pain. Your therapist is trained to make space for your experience and help you learn through it, not fix it.
TWO: You are talking to someone who is trained to be able to engage in healthy relationships.
Your therapist is someone who knows how to communicate in a productive way. So, you are interacting with someone who is, hopefully, modeling healthy ways of being in a relationship. Your therapist is modeling being considerate, holding boundaries, acting with integrity, being accountable, communicating clearly, creating space for your feelings and not being reactive.
Think about the common saying: “You are the company you keep.” Part of what works in therapy is that you start to map your thinking on to your therapist’s way of thinking. Kind of like how you start saying things your best friend says all the time. You are being influenced by a person who is specifically trained to think, communicate and engage in the world in a healthy way. Pretty awesome right?
It is important to find the right fit so that you get the most out of therapy. How can you get the most out of therapy? See last week’s post.