Whether we are consciously aware of it or not, there are currents of thought that run through our collective society.
They can be embedded posts you see on social media, come out of the mouths of your friends or family or through storylines on shows you watch.
These thoughts influence us.
They can lay dormant until there is a reason for them to be called forward, but they sit there in the back of our minds. Maybe even silently pulling on us.
Some of these things can be positive influences, like the ones I want to talk about today.
But they also can have a way of leading you astray, if you take them at face value.
ONE: Help others, don’t be selfish.
The good: Helping others and being generous is good, right? Of course it is. But, too much good is exactly that: too much.
Consider this: Are you the person who gives so much to the point that is negatively impacting you? It can look like giving the kind of support or the amount of support you are not able to give (for whatever reason), which leads to resentment.
Resentment poisons relationships.
Or, it can look like over focusing on others such that you are disconnected from your own needs or feelings. Eventually that will catch up with you.
TWO: Be accountable, don’t be a victim.
The good: Blaming others is disempowering. So, taking responsibility can help step into an empowered position.
Consider this: Any chance that one of the ways you to control things is by being overly accountable? This kind of controlling is SO undercover. If you are responsible for everything, then you have the control to fix it, right?
Being responsible for what IS in your domain is a good thing, but being responsible for what is in the domain of others results in enabling behaviors, being in uneven relationships and, ultimately, a massive sense of frustration because it doesn’t work in the long run to be responsible for everything.
THREE: Don’t be lazy.
The good: Yes, being a productive member of society and doing your part is fantastic.
Consider this: Hello overachieving and burn out. Yup. Not all resting, doing enjoyable things, watching tv or not doing something every second is the result of laziness. Resting is vital to daily life.
Sleeping in and of itself is not for lazy people, is it? It is a basic need. It’s just a question of balance. Sleep or rest or just “not work” the amount that is right for your body, stress levels, health status.
FOUR: Focus on goals and plans.
The good: Having a vision and a place you are headed with any area of your life is excellent. Creating some structure through planning might be great for your specific temperament and personality.
Consider this: This can be a recipe for getting stuck in your head. A potential disconnection from what you really want or need. What you need and want has the potential to change. And there needs to be a connection to those changes and a response to them. That might mean letting go of a goal or plan. And that’s OK.
It comes down to balance as well as knowing yourself. There is not one way that people work.
Just as it relates to the currents of thought outlined here, where do you land?
Do you tend to find yourself over helping, being overly responsible, over working or overly rigid with your plans?
It could be a good time to take a look at how these currents of thought may have crept in and might not actually be true (or good!) for you.