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“You Wouldn’t Act Like That If You Loved Me”

“You Wouldn’t Act Like That If You Loved Me”

We have all either thought or said this at some point:  “you wouldn’t act like this if you loved me.” I have to tell you something:  this belief is probably causing unnecessary pain and suffering. There is this prevailing thought that people act one certain […]

Why Is It So Hard To Change? These Are 3 Ways to Help Get You There.

Why Is It So Hard To Change? These Are 3 Ways to Help Get You There.

Adopting a new way of handling difficult things is not usually something you bother to do when everything is going great. Usually you decide you must make a change when there have been tough times. You are built to be drawn toward what is familiar […]

When Things Aren’t Going Your Way, This One Question Changes Everything

When Things Aren’t Going Your Way, This One Question Changes Everything

Whether it feels like one thing after another or it feels like big things are not going your way, there is a helpful way to look at it. We all know that there is no “there” to get to where everything is perfect, when we […]

When You Resist Your Feelings: There’s no “Trying” in Emotions!

When I was thinking about this post, a little scene from A League Of Their Own popped into my head: Well, in the world of emotion, sometimes there is lots of crying!  But there is no trying, especially when it comes to feelings you are […]

Emotions: Are They in the Way or Getting You on the Way?

Emotions: Are They in the Way or Getting You on the Way?

“Emotions can get in the way or get you on the way.” -Mavis Mazhura So, how are you supposed to tell the difference? Are they getting in the way?  Or getting you on the way? Let’s break this down. –>  We have emotions that are […]

Feedback: Take it or Leave it?  Here’s a Guide.

Feedback: Take it or Leave it? Here’s a Guide.

Everybody loves to share their thoughts on what and how you are doing. How are you supposed to filter through all that feedback? There are two ends of the spectrum here. There is the end of the spectrum where you trust what other people say […]

How to Practice Taking Equal and Balanced Responsibility

How to Practice Taking Equal and Balanced Responsibility

You might be finding yourself in relationship dynamics where you are being too accountable. If you are not sure what this means, take a moment and go back to the last post about this here. I’m going to be honest with you: making a shift […]

What If You Are TOO Accountable?

What If You Are TOO Accountable?

It’s a thing: being too accountable. The concept of being responsible for your actions is a positive and empowering message communicated by good parents, respectable organizations, teachers, mental health professionals, leaders with integrity and many others.  And it should be. It is an important skill: […]

Not Sure What Your Boundaries Are?  Anger and Guilt Will Make Them Clear.

Not Sure What Your Boundaries Are? Anger and Guilt Will Make Them Clear.

Anger and guilt are similar in the sense that they experientially disclose true boundaries and values.  Not just our intellectual constructs of them. That’s the beauty of emotions, they bypass what we “think” or “expect”.  To be fair, that can also be the challenge of […]

Did You Know Anxiety is Not an Emotion Either?

Did You Know Anxiety is Not an Emotion Either?

It’s a state. Like stress.  Or depression. Anxiety, stress and depression are usually states that wrap around a cluster of emotions, thoughts or beliefs. So what is anxiety? Anxiety is usually an activating state that comes with being over aroused because there are uncomfortable emotions […]